As you may have noticed, one of my favorite places to get random news is Huffington Post. I find the stories and news reports to be funny, informative and controversial. I love a good drama every once and a while, and I was not disappointed by this feisty article, “I’m A Gay Man Who Loves Sex (And Here’s Why That’s Suddenly A Problem)” by Noah Michelson.
If you don’t want to read the full article, here’s the jist. Michelson is a big supporter of sex and doesn’t believe in the repression or secrecy of our sexuality, but in this article, he is more than advocating for talking about sex. Recently, there have been articles such as “Chelsea’s Risque Businesses” and in an op-ed for Elite Daily, that advocate for more discreet behaviors when it comes to sex. So in fierce opposition, Michelson responds with vigor about how we should be able to talk about sex openly, even with our children, and we should also be allowed to enjoy intimacy in whatever way and with however many partners we would like.
This argument intrigues me. I like sex just as much as the next gal (maybe not as much as Michelson who seems to be bordering on addiction, but that’s another story). But, I also believe in the sanctity of sex in a loving and committed relationship. While I’m sure rolling in the hay with someone whose name you can’t quite remember may be invigorating, I can’t imagine anything more intimate and beautiful that having sex with a committed partner who loves you and loves to please you for more than one sweaty night.
But, I’m not here to bash Michelson. I actually think that some of his arguments have merit. Here’s one such section of the article:
And I refuse to believe that just because queer people are increasingly being folded into the mainstream, we should give up fighting for all of the things we’ve been fighting for all these years. The goal has never been to get the same rights as non-queer people so we could be just like non-queer people, even though some, like Caramanno, might argue otherwise. We’re supposed to be leading by example and showing that sex is not scary, sex is not dirty, sex doesn’t need to be with just one partner and in a healthy, happy society, sex should be an important and inspiring way of connecting with one another.
I guess this is one issue where the LGBT community seem to split. Some are major proponents of sex and pleasure being openly-discussed topics; whereas, other members of our community might have sincerely wanted to be “folded into the mainstream”.
The way Michelson so fervently defended his position led me to off topic and into the elusive field of identity. What I mean to say is that his argument didn’t so much as convert me as it did lead me to question how Michelson defines himself. Someone whose identity wasn’t so wrapped up in sexual exploits wouldn’t have responded so vehemently. (Again, I’m not bashing Michelson because I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with him tying his identity to sex). I wonder if Michelson’s position in this article would have been different if he wasn’t fastidiously defending himself under this (real or perceived) attack on his character.