Today, I want to share some of my favorite funny gay quotes!

The gay agenda? When was the last time a gay person knocked on your door asking if you would like to hear the good news of Elton John?

“You could move.” – Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby), in response to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in a cross the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.

“When I overhear someone say ‘That’s f***ing gay,’ I grab him enthusiastically by the shoulders, grin and say, ‘Yes! I love it, too!’ in a flirty voice. – Adam Lambert

“I like my men like I like my coffee. I don’t drink coffee.” – Ellen DeGeneres

The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals, and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision. – Lynn Lavner

“It’s a no brainer. If you’re not for gay marriage, don’t marry a gay person.” – Whoopi Goldberg

“It’s very dear to me, the issue of gay marriage. Or, as I like to call it: ‘Marriage.’ You know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car; I didn’t gay park it.” – Liz Feldman

“Welcome to America – where being obese is genetics but being gay is a choice.” – Drew Carey

The next time you hear a person say, “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” reply with “It’s homo sapiens not hetero sapiens,” and fly into the night.

“If homosexuality is a disease, let’s all call in queer to work: “Hello, can’t work today, still queer.” – Robin Tyler

“Overall, the LGBT community, we’re the same, we’re like everybody else. Except we’re better looking and more stylish.” – Wanda Sykes

“Do we have to worry about who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?” – Ellen DeGeneres